Cinta ini membunuhku....

KEJAM?? Yeah….
Sgt kejam… 4 years ago, u’r the 1 that always take a good care of me…. U r the 1 that always says that u love me… u’r the 1 that always miss me whenever we r far apart.. U r the one that always give me happiness…U r the 1 that I love most… its only U…

But now… sume tgal kenangan…kenangan yg sgt meninggalkan kesan in my life..and its only in my life…
The worst thing is bile hanye ak n its only me yg rase sekse, perit,sakit, n u???? u just can forget everything in a blink of eyes…SEKELIP MATE!!!… I didn’t know mane perasaan awk as a human…

4 tahun awk membina hubungan ni..tp 1 ari je awk boleh melupakan SEGALANYE… what happen 2 u.. n the worst thing is when u never explain 2 me y suddenly awk berubah…

Yes..ak fobia CINTA now..
Sgt fobia sbb cinte telah buat ak spt seorg yg hilang pedoman bile ak merayu kpd pempuan lain utk tgalkan lelaki yg ak syg n ble pmpuan itu spt gembire n puas tgk ak meryu kat die tp ak still xkesa..betape gilernye ak bile dah hilang akal…cinte buat ak anak yg sgt xbergune kat mak ayah ak ble mak ak menangis merayu n melutut kat ak utk suapkan ak sesudu nasi ble dah 2 ari ak xmkn ape2… ia buat ak jdk seorg yg sgt lemah ble everyday menangis sbb pk kan ap yg die buat kat ak.. n sumer jdk sgt sakit bile ak menghadapi sorg diri, melalui stp hari di tempat yg sgt byk kenangan antare ak n die which is in UTM…. Its not for 1 or 2 days but for about 3 years lae… its really hurt me…

Sometimes I ask my mum…y I’m the only 1 yg rse saket n sekse mcm ni…tp die sgt gembire wif his life there…wif other gurl around him n never care bout me… nape awk mulekan sumernye dgn sy tp u end up everything dgn senang hati?? Mane pgnye naluri kemanusiaan awk??

Mak… I’m sorry… when u’r trying utk tenangkan hati anakmu ini… anakmu ini boleh lak ckp yg mak xrase mcm mane anakmu ini rase..then its easy 4 u 2 say utk ak lupekan sumer…bukan ak xnak lupekan tp I’m trying my best..tp xboleh…sgt xboleh…mak ckp ini dugaan Allah bg utk kte jdk kuat..tp kenape ak sorg yg selalu diberi dugaan?? Kenape ak sorg yg selalu sakit?? Ya Allah…ampunkan hambamu ini Ya Allah…

If u think I’m not the best person for u… then I should think the same way as u…even most of my fren ckp I deserve better person than u..tp I’m always trying…cube utk menjadikan awk adalah yg terbaik utk dri sye… nape awk xboleh buat bende yg sme mcm sy???

‘Awk kurus sgt’…then I’m trying my best utk jdk gemok…just becoz of u…
‘awk paranoid…suke msuk campur urusan sy’… then I’m trying not to be paranoid and ignore ap yg awk buat…eventhough its hurt me..

What else?? Sumer yg awk xsuke.. sy cube utk jdk ap yg awk nak… at last…ap sy dpt??
Sy xdendam dgn awk..sbb sy taw..Allah maha adil.. ap yg kite buat, 1 day bende 2 akan balek smule kat kite,.. cume xtaw je bile…

Honestly, I still can’t forget everything… but I’m trying 2 forget it… xsumer tp sikit2… at least ak boleh menghadapi hari2 ak dgn tenang….

“The most stupid thing about relationships, they love you when they see you but when they don’t, they flirt with someone else”

Jgn jd seorg yg kejam awk… jgn jd manusie yg pentingkan diri sendri, pentingkan kepuasan diri sendri… berubah la awk…. Sy taw awk org yg sgt baik… sy cume terkilan… awk berubah jd org yg sy sgt xknal… berubah awk… jgn sakitkan hati mane2 pmpuan lagi.. bukak hati awk…utk berubah…

Kalau awk nak cr org yg terbaik utk dri awk…. Crlah…tp bkn dgn cre saketkan hati org yg pnah awk syg… xperlu buat org lain tertekan… tersekse… Cinta ini membunuhku… thanks utk semua yg pernah awk bg kpd sy… even sy taw awk xpnah n xakan bce sumer nih… even awk xnak dgr ap2 dr sy… sy cume nak ckp thanks utk semua yg pnah awk bg utk sy… perasaan disayangi n menyayangi..perasaan dihargai n menghargai..perasaan disakiti n menyakiti....perasaan diabaikan..perasaan mcm mane saket bile hati dihiris dgn perkataan n perbuatan org yg sy syg… jodoh, maut sumer ketentuan Allah… sebaik mane perancangan kita, kalau Allah kata bukan itu ketentuan kite…bende 2 ttp xkan jdk… may Allah bless us…

5 Response to "Cinta ini membunuhku...."

  1. Anonymous Says:
    June 5, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    http://inibelogsaya.blogspot.com/2011/05/surviving-break-ups.html
    Good for us. Dont hurt yourself. You worth more than this. I always apply this. "You may love the wrong person,and cry for the wrong reason. But mistakes will help you find the right person for a good reason" It really works. "While someone breaks your heart,another someone is waiting to fix it"

  2. Anonymous Says:
    June 26, 2011 at 12:43 AM

    I'm sure there are many reasons behind all this. I'm really sure you can find someone else that is much better than him.

  3. abugitt says:
    June 29, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    one day u will get happiness/.

  4. gadis_merahjambu says:
    July 13, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    thanks everyone...=)
    really appreciate it!!

  5. Wani Lala says:
    September 29, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    aku baru baca post ni! but ajan just forget bout him! dia lelaki tak guna! huhuhuh...but this is wht i learn after being dumped so many times, kalo org tu cuba ubah kte, so he is not the one! The one tu suke everything bout us! so the next time u are in a relationship lepas tu lelaki tu complaint sane sini, then start keeping distance dgn mamat tu! sbb dia pun tak guna!

Post a Comment